


Things Enjolras Does Not Care About.

by Lanna Michaels (lannamichaels)



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - Schönberg/Boublil, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern, Because #yuletide, Lists
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-03
Updated: 2013-03-03
Packaged: 2017-12-04 03:55:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/706256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lannamichaels/pseuds/Lanna%20Michaels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A useful reference list by Les Amis de l'ABC.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things Enjolras Does Not Care About.

  1. Your lonely soul.
  2. His lonely soul.
  3. _Anyone's_ lonely soul.
  4. He might be convinced to care about their immortal soul, but he would like to dispute the framing and some definitions first.
  5. He does care about your lonely well-being, though! Yay!
  6. The fact that we're keeping a list.
  7. Grantaire's epic crush.
  8. Courfeyrac's living arrangements (hi, Marius!)
  9. Anything Jehan says that fits any poetic rhythm (including original material, excluding quotations)
  10. The time-space continuum.
  11. Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar.
  12. (E would like his objection on the record vis-a-vis stolen cookies: socio-economic reasons for theft, definition of property, definition of theft, definition of cookie. So recorded.)
  13. Where Bahorel gets his nails done.
  14. Why Bahorel gets his nails done ("can we please stop enforcing gender norms and get back to the point?" - quote of the week)
  15. If Grantaire has ever learned the true meaning of anything (he hasn't)
  16. Why Feuilly hangs around such terrible people (we think we're funny, he agrees)
  17. If the sun will come out tomorrow, because it is self-evident that it will.
  18. 42
  19. Your over-developed sense of shame (whose?) (yours.) (but I don't have one!) (okay, then mine.) (you stole the cookie, too, didn't you?) (no comment.)
  20. Why Joly and Combeferre hate medical dramas (much too long to go into here, take a pamphlet)
  21. Why Bossuet is laughing (he thinks we're funny, too! Yay!)
  22. What happened to Courfeyrac's spare key. (Marius liberated it to give to his girlfriend.)
  23. That this list might be getting too long, who's hoarding the stapler? Give it back. (sorry.)
  24. The games rich young boys play with their parents's money (poker?) (golf?) (strip poker golf?)
  25. Marius's historical hard-on for Bonaparte.
  26. OR ANYONE'S FUCKING HELL WHY DO PEOPLE LIKE HIM SO MUCH *TEARS HAIR*
  27. Direct quote. (Including the hair tearing.)
  28. Maybe that one should go under Things Enjolras Might Care About A Tad Too Much?
  29. No, that list will be much too long. We'll wear out our hands trying to keep up with it.
  30. What color we paint the wall. (no ~~red~~ comments ~~red~~ here, guys, please, let's keep this ~~red~~ civil)
  31. The best way to braid hair, even though he somehow manages to win braiding competitions, how does he keep doing that? (sorcery)
  32. The linguistic origins of the word 'fuck'.
  33. Sex between any number of consenting adults.
  34. Why Bossuet is wearing Joly's underwear (it was closest)
  35. How anyone can tell that Bossuet is wearing Joly's underwear (sorcery)
  36. YOUR LONELY SOUL
  37. YOUR WELL-LAID SOUL
  38. YOUR WELL-LAID BUT YET STILL LONELY SOUL
  39. (Just to cover all the bases.)
  40. Who thought this was a good idea (Grantaire) (he promises he was sober) (no one believes it) (Enjolras believes it) (Enjolras is lying)
  41. The deplorable state of anything having to do with Combeferre's nails, and if Bahorel should take him for a manicure (he should and also take pictures)
  42. If Feuilly's going to finish that (yes)
  43. Who ate the last donut (Courfeyrac)
  44. Movie night.
  45. "Marius, your libido is, as ever, irrelevant to this conversat-- why is everyone suddenly scribbling things down? What are you writing? ...Oh. Marius, I support your heterosexual life choices, and please stop quoting me, that list of yours is getting ridiculous."
  46. "Not that I care that it's getting ridicul-- damn it."



**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Things Enjolras Does Not Care About (fanart)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3649122) by [wannabequeen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wannabequeen/pseuds/wannabequeen)




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